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I met a prostitute tonight.

Apparently, Florida is prime real estate for prostitutes.  It is the middle of November and it is 80 degrees outside.  It is sooooooo muggy.  When you walk outside you just start to feel sticky.  Everything smells like mildew, and there are prostitutes everywhere.  Now I have to admit, I am partly to blame.  I must have looked more like a John then then my friend did after he lost a game of of Japanese war with Matty.  (Japanese war is just like the normal card game, except you only speak in Japanese, even if you cant... and you have been drinking)  I had just finished dinner at a Texas themed steakhouse, and I wanted a smoke.  SRLSY, this place was awesome.  All the wait staff wore cowboy hats and bolo ties.  

I was leaning up against my KIA in a hotel parking lot with the door open and techno blasting out of the cheap speakers.  It seemed like a good idea at the time, but then a prostitute approached me.

The car is not yellow, it is just a really shitty street light.

None of this would have happened if I had just found the place with the good beer.  I usually look on google for restaurants when I travel.  This time I found a place that prided its self in a fine selection of American micro brews.  I drove around for a half an hour and never found it.  So, I settled on the Texas Cattle Company, and my life will never be the same.  They had half price bottles of wine, and a terrible selection of beer.  If I had simply consumed three fine beers, I might have though twice about turning up BPM on Serious XM while I puffed on my clove cigarette, on motel row, on the wrong side of the tracks.  The fact that I was drinking the rest of my Malbec out of the bottle also didn't help my image.  Again, none of this would have happened if I had just found the tavern with the good beer. 

So, why am I telling you this story?  It is to prove a point!  The next time someone tries to make the argument that wine drinkers are more sophisticated then beer drinkers, just tell them that wine drinkers are 87% more likely to be solicited by prostitutes.  I did a study!

This is what a depressing hotel room looks like.

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1 comments on this page. Add your own comment below.

The Beer Simpleton
Feb 11, 2013 6:53pm [ 1 ]

HAHA!!! So what you're saying is drink whatever you want, but when it comes time to wrap up the night and you're feeling a bit frisky, switch to wine?? Lol!!

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